For those of you who don’t know, my background is in musical theatre. It’s was my main “thing” as a kid and what I studied in college.
(That’s me as Annie when I was 9.)
While I haven’t been on the stage in many years, I still listen to and sing along with musicals often while I work. A few weeks ago, I was humming some lines from the musical The Woman in White and a line from that show came to mind. I won’t go into the story, but it revolves around two sisters. Marian, the older sister and Laura, the younger, prettier sister. Count Fosco, a rather slimy character, is trying to woo Marian and says to her about her younger, prettier sister, “You live in her shadow.” Marian replies, “If I do , it is because I am comfortable there.”
It was sort of strange to me that this line popped into my head along with an immediate application to my own life. It dawned on me that for years, I have been living in the shadow of my home. Because I am comfortable there.
Are you following me?
I have never come home empty handed and frustrated and feeling lousy about myself after a day of shopping for my house.
It doesn’t have “fat days” or “bad hair days.”
When I’m in the shadow of my house I don’t have to count calories, get out of my paint clothes or put makeup on.
I can just sew and rearrange and decorate, upholster and paint and duck from a knock at the door because I’m not presentable.
A year ago, I made some changes and started taking better care of myself. I’ve lost 20 lbs over the past year and am working towards 10 more. I’ve sort of stayed away from clothes shopping, because it usually just puts me in a funk, but my clothes are starting to get pretty baggy and I have a couple of events coming up, so it was time to step out of the shadow a bit more and do some shopping for me. Like, in a mall.
And I made sure to try on and buy things that weren’t just black and charcoal gray.
And I tried on and bought things that were a little bit dressier than paint splattered t-shirts and ill-fitting sweats.
And I even tried on and bought an entire ensemble AND a dress!
I’m sure those declarations of victory are going to sound silly to those who love clothes shopping. I used to love it and be good at it. I used to have so much confidence in my fashion choices, even when they were a bit quirky. Now, I second-guess and ho-hum and try on 20 things for every one thing that I buy. I think a part of that is I am more discerning about what I buy. If I don’t love it 100%, it’s not worth buying. But a big part of it is a lack of confidence. Well, today I started to have a little bit of fun clothes shopping again. I still would’ve rather been digging around in a junk store for antiques. I still would’ve rather been painting. I was still wishing I could have a personal shopper getting bossy with me about what to try out and what flatters my frame.
I still feel comfortable in the shadow of my house, but I’m not going to live there.
112 Responses
Marian, I can totally relate to this post! Congratulations on your weight loss and thanks for the inspiration.
I didn’t know you sang! You need to burst in song next time you do a tutorial for us.
“Tomorrow Tomorrow, there’s always tomorrow… it’s only a day away” This is how I feel at the end of the day with things uncrossed on my to do list!
Love your blog!
Hi Marian,
I am happy you did your good shopping and got things you love!
I wish I was your personal shopper…lol… I am an Italian artist – designer (I hope you remember me, we did email each other sometimes when your book came out) seriously I have been working as personal shopper for Anthropology few years ago…
XOXO
Carolina
Marian, and that’s exactly why I don’t like shopping for clothes :-). I wish I had Carolina (comment before) as my personal shopper, because I really LOVE Anthropology. But when I’m there I always let my focus shift from clothes to door knobs, hooks, …
You are so great!
It is very interesting. When I was in my 20’s I was very skinny, and very well dressed. I shopped vintage and mixed in retail. I bought up every fashion magazine on the rack.
After my daughter (and mid 30’s) I gained a lot and started channeling that focus into my home. Now I buy up every decorating magazine on the rack. I wonder if there is an innate need in us to make something pretty.
I am glad you found balance, it is inspiring to think it can be done.
Like you, I too live in the shadow of my house. I love shopping for my house for all the reasons you mention… and then some!
Although I’ve only posted pix on my blog of my new kitchen project last year (showing progress), I may take a few more and post some more.
Kudos to you on that weight loss!
Is that a flower print scarf with the madras print? I love it, where did you get it?
As I was reading this post, I felt like you were describing me. I love our house. I can dress our house and I’m always happy when I’m in it but put me in a mall and tell me to buy an outfit I feel totally lost. I really don’t like to shop for myself. I have a wedding coming up and I’m going to the Country Living Fair in Ohio and I’m already stressed on what to wear.
Congrats on your resent weight loss. Looks like you picked out some nice outfits.
This is a post for the websites Decor Steals and Antique Farmhouse.
I Love the two sights and have been much more exicited to get my “finds ” in the mail than whenever I have ordered clothing for myself in the past.
Maybe it’s because I love my little house and have waited many years to have a place that I could decorate by myself and feel comfortable making my mistakes and doing a” redo” or two! It is most likely because it is my first house and I 61 years old! (like I said, I waited a long time for my own place!!)
I have many pieces from these websites now and enjoy playing and placing each one in just the right place! Thank you so much for YOUR help and for this giveaway!
Yeah Marian!!!
The thing that has always made me the happiest in life was to move furniture around and change things in my house. I’ve done this since I was a teen. So, like you, I lived in the shadow of my house too. But, I want to stay here. I’m older and you have your whole life ahead of you with a brilliant career and a beautiful family. I pray that even as I get older that I never ever get tired of moving things around. Funny, I don’t like “change” in my life, but I love it in my house. Hummmmm, now, I wonder what that says about me. 🙂 Love your new clothes, you needed a new look with pattern and color. Your going to look like a million bucks! Blessings and Hugs from Louisiana
Nice Marian!!! I seriously felt like I as reading about myself… except my house is not nearly as far along in projects as yours! 🙂 Congrats on the weight loss! I too have a long way to go and haven’t been actual clothes shopping in years. I do remember enjoying it, though, so am looking forward to stepping out of the shadows in time, myself.
And by the way, I am so excited to give my first round of milk paint a try! I have a dresser from 1880 that I picked up on Craigslist and choose Mustard Seed yellow. Wish me luck!
What a wonderful comparison! And did you note how you bought alot (alot) of blue clothes??? They often say that your wardrobe reflects your choices for your home. Your’s happened the other way around but I love how you are wearing colors your home wears! You will look (and feel) wonderful in your new duds!
I TOTALLY understand what you are saying, especially the part where I “ignore” a knock on the door because I’m not presentable! Great post and great job on the health changes. Thanks for the inspiration!
The small victories are sometimes the biggest 🙂 So happy for you that all your hard work is showing. Hope you have fun in those new clothes!
Congrats on your healthy accomplishments this year! It looks like you picked out some cute clothes 🙂 I’m the same – I am so comfortable in my own home, and I would rather spend a day in paint spattered clothes working on “projects” (my never-ending list of daydreamt ideas), but it’s nice to get dressed up every once in a while! Keep up the awesome work 🙂
This post really touched me. I tend to live in the shadow of my family…homeschooling, tending to, cooking. I use it as an excuse to not always take the best care of myself. I feel in my heart it is time for a change, but starting the process is hard…but I’ll get there.
Congrats on your successes – both with your beautiful home and your health!
Marina, you put words to something that many of us feel. Thank you for sharing your life – you are an inspiring voice!
Thank you for this post! you are truly an inspiration. at the ripe age of 28, I am feeling less than beautiful lately. my weight has went up since starting a hectic masters program one year and 7 months ago. I put myself on the back burner…. i hate to go shopping! I tend to hide in the shadows as well… not sure the shadow of what but def in the shadows. i am ready to come out and get things together! xoxoxo
That is the sweetest picture of you as Annie! Congrats on the weight loss and the new colorful clothing! It’s good to step out of your comfort zone occasionally!
Your words could be my own. I’m such a homebody. Even talking on the phone isn’t my preference! Home is safe, comfortable, and a place where I belong. I don’t always feel like I belong OUT THERE. I’m embarking on a weight loss journey too and applaud all you’ve achieved. I hope you feel special as can be in those pretty new clothes! You’ve earned it!
Can any one person do it all? I wish you good fortune on your latest journey. I, like you, seem to center all my time and energy around my house and honestly I do let myself go. You seem to be a beautiful person, inside and out. Let that light shine. Maybe you can be an inspiration to those of us who think we can’t do it all and help us be as happy with ourselves as well as with our homes. If anybody can do it, I’m sure you can.
I am so glad you are stepping out from the shadow of your house. It reminds us that all of us have strengths and weakness. I know some who never have guests at their homes because they are insecure about the way their houses are decorated (or not). Lacking confidence in oneself regarding weight or wardrobe or hairstyle plague most of us. We must always remember that what we wear does not define our value however the effort we dedicate to ourselves also reflects the worth we assign our own value. We are all worthwhile! Shine!
You go get em girl. You are fabulous inside and out!!!
I second Kathleen’s comment.
Not so long ago a Bible verse came alive to me (
one of many) – the love your neighbor as you love
yourself one. Well, I loved my neighbor (girlfriends,
and daughters) plenty and tried to help guide
toward healthy decisions – but for me? Well, that
was selfsih – see what I mean?
Loving yourself makes a mighty good wife, mom.
Dressing the best I can – smelling pretty – gives a good
root system to grow in so many ways.
We are all crazy about you – your honesty – your transparencies.
(and of course, your paint)
Hugs and love, p
This is such a great post, thanks for sharing your heart, Marian. I really can’t wait to meet you at Haven this weekend!
Like a bird fluffing its nest, making a house a home is an enjoyable art. I honestly don’t see you living in any shadow other than the one you cast, which is just terrific.
Marian, you really touch all of us in our hearts..I think there’s millions of us that feel the same way. I can tell that everyone who has commented here has a real soft spot in their heart for you and the way you speak to us. Wish we could all get together and have lunch.
You will look beautiful in your new clothes!
love, peggy
I found your description of life in the home as life in a shadow unfortunate. You are certainly to be commended for striving to create a life for yourself that you find fulfilling and alive. As for many of us, our homes and our work inside of the home, is anything but a life in a shadow. It’s front and center stage. It took me a long time to put myself 100% into my family life and home.
I had an interior design career in my 20s and 30s, and I now consider it all worthless vanity. Every single project I poured myself into has since been torn up and thrown into a landfill. Thankfully, I had children in my late 30s (where many of my colleagues chose childlessness.) I’m now in my 50s and I know that the work I do make my home safe, clean, healthy and beautiful will last. Not to mention the lasting and loving memories my sons will have of me, and I of them.
It’s hard to remember to take care of ourselves, that’s for sure, but it can be done while very much in our homes. It doesn’t have to be a one or the other kind of thing. Congrats on the weight loss. That’s definitely an accomplishment.
Oh, I agree that there needs to be a balance. The problem for me was that when I wasn’t spending time with my family, it was all about my home, business and blog. I would style my hair and put on makeup maybe once a week. I wasn’t eating well, wasn’t getting enough sleep, wasn’t exercising and was working way too much. I was wearing clothes that were paint splattered and ill-fitting out to dinner! I would just make a big joke out of it, but it was time to give myself permission to take care of myself, too. To exercise, to eat right, to get my hair cut more than once a year. I’ll never be the girl who needs to add on a wing for my shoe collection, but things were out of balance and I needed to correct that. Taking care of myself makes me a better mom, wife and business woman. It’s teaching my kids how to be healthy and set limits. My husband and I are enjoying taking walks together, riding bikes and going on hikes. It keeps me from getting burnt out on home projects and blogging.
It’s all about balance and I know a lot of women struggle with that. I hope that explains it a bit better.
Thank you for your gracious reply; I understand a little better what you were saying by using the shadow analogy. I think that I understood it to mean the exact opposite of what you meant! Sorry.
Since the business you’re building up, and the house you use in your blog are all right there at home, you actually need to get away from your house in order to more fully embrace yourself and your family. Right?
I, on the other hand, needed to get back to my home in order to more fully embrace myself and my family.
Either way, our “boys” are getting more attention 🙂 and we’re making more time for what we value.
Good for you!
Marian, I too am getting into clothes shopping after loosing a lot of weight and finding it fun and expensive. Good job on your choices although I noticed that you tend toward blues like your house at least you will match. Good luck with the final 10 I am still working on mine and it is hard.
Congratulations on your successes and dedication to YOU! It’s a hard thing to do as a mom, much less one with so many irons in the fire like you.
Bless you for sharing this part of your life with us as you continue to inspire others in so many ways!
I stay home 90% of the time, so when I clothes shop, I get conflicted… need stuff for homebound, but also for the rare times I need to look a bit more pulled together. What to do, what to do!??? Many times I leave with nothing, then get frustrated because I only have raggy clothes!
Glad you were successful in your shopping trip, maybe I need to be more diligent next time, and choose a category!
I hate clothes shopping! Keep up the great work on the weight loss, mine is creeping up and I’m miserable:(
TESTIFY SISTER!
Us homebodies are all so alike!
I too have recently enjoyed clothes shopping due to some much needed weight loss (and I even bought a dress this year too!)
So I can totally feel your joy! Heres to many more fun shopping trips both for home and yourself!
Hugs!
Kerri
My goodness your story could have been about me and my home. Not the part about singing…I may sing a lot around here but not good! Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I too have lost some weight this past year but have a long way to go before I believe I can feel good about shopping for clothes. In the meantime…I will take refuge in the love of my home and shopping for it!!
Congratulations, Marian! The clothes look so pretty. When our lives get so busy with husbands, kids, jobs and our homes, it’s so easy to put ourselves last. Congrats to you on your determination with the weight loss and exercise. It’s hard work. Love reading your blog no matter what you talk about. It makes my day. We all feel like we have such a connection to you.
That was a really cool post Marian. I think alot of us “get it”.
Cindy
I can totally relate on every level!! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I totally have you to thank this past (almost one year), for me finding myself and getting out of the funk I was in. On so many levels!!
Wow! I totally feel you on this one! It took a pretty bad panic attack to knock me down and get me to take exercise and eating right seriously. It’s so easy to get tied up in painting furniture, hitting the garage sales, blogging, answering questions, etc, and totally forget about yourself! For me, that not only included exercise but my quiet time with God. Now, I don’t even get out of bed until I’ve had that quiet time, and I make sure to exercise before lifting a paintbrush! Glad that you are taking care of yourself! We may need to nominate you for “What Not to Wear!” That would be fun! Hmmmm….
You are spot on about needing to take time for yourself. It is much easier to come back to family, home, and career when you are refreshed and happy about yourself.
Marian –
You never cease to amaze me. Your writing and your thoughts are all so relevant and a pleasure. Losing the weight over here too – and I think I will go get my nails done this afternoon. All the best as always!
I’m glad for you you decided to step out the shadow. Maybe it’s because I’m in the middle of a huge renovation, but my house definitely have “bad dining-room day” or “bad kitchen day”, like today a friend came in unexpectedly and I was painting the kitchen window, so everything that is usually in front of the window was on the floor and there was a huge, old sheet in front of the window!
Ok, I hear what you r trying to convey Marian Lets say, the balance you have been working for, has now entered the realm of seeing you HAD been neglecting walks with family, for me, it was wearing a bra! Having fun taking care of your loved ones and time with them, exercising, drinking water, maybe dr appointments, playing in the water with kids, wearing presentable clothes ( and YES, that can be in the form of Tshirts and nice jeans, getting your hair cut more often, etc. it wasn’t all about weight loss and shopping; those were 2 safe, comfortable areas to share with us. It was a whole picture. It is balance. If you aren’t comfortable with something, or you feel resentment doing something, we need to look hard at it and ask ” do I really want this,,or am I doing it for someone else or because it’s what the herd says I should do?” We won’t all have the same balances. My TLC, is putting my legs up 2 hours a day , wearing oxygen even though I hate the umbilical cord, taking my pills everyday, 7 times a day, napping, drs once a month, all while I don’t neglect what I CAN do so my husband isn’t overloaded. My balance is much different than yours. But what I think you’re trying to say is : it’s not about the weight loss or going shopping, it’s about making sure you don’t neglect other things in your life, it’s about putting what’s most important to YOU in the big basket labeled you. It’s about you opened the basket and what was staring at you was HOUSE. Now you want to open it and see, husband, music, some newer, COMFY clothes,haircuts, dr app, drinking water, saying your prayers, kids, etc. but you STILL have the prerogative to decide NOT to answer that door, or to stay in ok’d all day. It’s OUR job to decide what feels right, what’s comfortable, what’s good for us ( the gotta do’s) and not let society dictate to us. We ALL neglect things, sometimes for years.
Here is the key: sometimes it is what it is. sometimes it’s God help me to change what I can. And it’s always, if I decide to change it, then I should feel no guilt or resentment. If I DO feel that, I better go back and see if I REALLY want to change it.
No guilt Marian! I’m happy you are accomplishing a lot! But only if it is feeling good in your heart!
Sorry for long winded. Hope I helped express your post
Beth
WOW! You just described ME! Thank you for being real! I’ve lost 12 lbs in the last month and hope to lose 20 more…and then like clothes shopping again. And, yes, I’d rather be rummaging through an antique store too! 🙂
I fully understand this post! Not only to like doing all the same things for and in my house I was very frugal about what I did. At age 71 I gave myself permission to just buy what I wanted. I found it was harder to do than I thought! I still think hard about my purchases – house or clothes. Now gifts for grandchildren are different!
Thank you for such a well considered and intimate post! I get stuck there as well, as it seems many of us do. I was just recently reminded of another reason to get out of the uber-casual duds and into something, well, more accepted in the outside world. That is: respect for others and their level of comfort. We get so comfortable and casual in our own scenarios that we inadvertently thrust it upon someone else’s day when we step out to run errands in our yoga attire or stretched out old shirts and jeans. We have become a very self-oriented society. And I love Patti G.’s comment above about Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself. I’m trying harder to reconsider my choices. Congratulations on your weight loss and on your really enjoyable blog. –
So me….. …I can relate! I tell friends to call first as I won’t answer the door especially in the summer when I get up and start painting and don’t bother getting out my pj’s!!! I do agree we should not get too comfortable…we need to maintain a balance and that does involve working out, shopping., etc….actually leaving our beloved homes!
Wow, Marian, your blog is great and then you just knock it out of the park with a totally profound and relevant post like this one. So loved it. It really hit home for me as well. Thanks.
I’m with you! Every step of the way! I’m exactly doing “all that” (except the singing)! 🙂 But, don’t feel bad about being happy and relaxed at home. When you work, you work extremely hard. Sometimes God wants us to rest, and relax and enjoy our homes as the blessings they are. I dodge the door when I’m not looking up to snuff too, but I no longer feel guilty about it anymore. I’m thankful for these periods of “rest” (even when I’m creating art), and love being in my home more than anywhere. 🙂 Sometimes, we are reminded that we -need- rest and to do things we love at home, and love every minute of it! Sometimes when we don’t pay attention to that gift, we’re “forced” to rest (currently a torn shoulder and torn knee) and when it happens that way, we realize that this IS our particular season for rest. 🙂 (By rest I mean fun too)! I know so many women with gorgeous homes, and ones like me with down-sized teeny houses that are still cute, but for some reason they can’t stay at home. They’re out running all of the time and don’t allow themselves the blessing of being at home. I say, accept that gift with grace, because truly it is a gift.
It’s all good!
LOL, nice to know I’m not the only one who feels that way!
Be still my heart; there is a kindred spirit out there — so content to live in the shadow of her home — and her name is Miss Mustard Seed. 🙂
Congratulations on the “getting fit & healthy” — I like to think of it that way. That’s high on my list of priorities… but cannot give up the endless re-arranging, sorting, organizing, planning to paint & stencil and sew and hand-stitching that keeps me going…
🙂
Emma Ann
I sooo identify with you, Marian.
Last year I needed a new pair of walking shoes. Even shoes are a challenge for this short-toed girl. I have the perfect hang ten foot….though that same foot doesn’t fit most shoes. But, it does makes a cute footprint in the sand. [wink]
I was stressing out about having to drive 40 minutes to shop and I really just wanted another pair of the same shoes…which you know is pretty impossible as they’re all about changing up the athletic shoes each year. So…my wonderful husband spent an hour or so online and found my shoes in a different color. I was soooo happy!! And we a great day at home and at the park. So much better than shoe stores!!!!!!
It’s surprising how much I enjoy being at home after previously enjoying working outside of home.
Enjoy your time at Haven and beyond!! Wish I could have figured out how to go. 😉
Yes! At 51 I’m no longer confidant in my clothing choices, although I am pretty confident in all other areas. I worry that I am “mutton dressed as lamb”, then I worry that I’m dowdy, then I just throw on jeans and a t shirt from target and try not to be noticeable. Good for you for shopping for the good stuff! And enjoying it!
I connected with the musical
I hear ya girl! Go out and have some fun sometimes too. Love your bedroom!
I really appreciate this post – and can really relate in so many ways! Congratulations on your trimmer healthier body and on finding some pretty clothes that fit you nicely! I have just lost 27 pounds in my effort to be a healthier mama and have a lot more to loose, but in the meantime I’m having a terrible time finding things to wear. I’ve been hunting at Goodwill and other thrift stores and had very little success – my husband keeps telling me just to go shopping and find a few things that fit right, but I’m so reluctant!
I can so relate to the Goodwill clothes BUT, my husband is the same way–he wants me to buy new clothes. Soooo the next time I need clothes I will surprise him with new because I went to make him happy and because I love the patterns on Marian’s new clothes.
Marion,
Congrats on the weight loss, your children will thank you for it when they get older!!! You look like a young Reese Witherspoon in that photo from Annie. If you feel uncertain about your clothing choices go with a good friend who can be honest. Remember, you can always return it after you try it on at home with the right shoes, undergarments,etc. if you don’t love it. You’re young so GO BOLD, you don’t have as much freedom once you hit your 60’s and everything sags!!!
Well, I was having a bad day until I read your post. You are just adorable.
It feels great getting a new outfit…. we all need that pick me up whether it’s from the GW or the mall. I have two daughters to help me in that department should I need some advice! Way to go on the healthy lifestyle! Don’t worry about “ducking” at the door, I can so relate!
I agree with cathrine YOU ARE ADORABLE!!!
I feel like you are a kindred spirit. I, too, lived the magical life of musical theater for years (and majored in it in college, too!). I love to paint along to my show tunes! I have recently lost 16 pounds and am working on losing another 34. My clothes are starting to get really baggy and after years of avoiding shopping for myself, I’m going to have to face facts and do it soon. Your post was timely and reminds me not to live in any shadows! Go forth, paint, sing, shop, and be fearless!
So sweet Marian…..
It can be amazing when we allow God to bring us along, through (and maybe sometimes I think He does push a bit. Well, realistically–okay fine–even occasionally drag us–or maybe that’s just me!!) to a place, not of our choosing, but where we can learn to be content in Him and or rely on Him even in the shadows. I have struggled physically as well this year. Much of what you shared mirrors my experience. He has been faithful. Home is a good place to be–in the ‘shelter’ or ‘shadow’ of His Almighty Hand is also a sweet place to be. smile.
Thank you for sharing.
What an inspiring post. You are amazing, Miss Marian! Step out of the shadow of your home and let your light shine brightly in the sun 🙂
Whoa…too often it’s like you’re reading my mind. Spooky!
You are such a great soul. If I were 30 years younger those sentiments would have been just what would have come out of my mouth. I am so happy that your life is where you want it to be, for now. Being “comfortable” is all about where we are today and what has gotten us to where we are today. Enjoy Every one of those moments and days Miss Mustard Seed.
What a beautiful tale – Thank You!
You shine!
If my house looked like yours I wouldn’t feel guilty either. Oh, I know I can do it! The theme of your book. I just need time — it’s within my grasp, I can see it.
I’m glad you lost weight and have a healthier lifestyle. Way to go! Clothes shopping will be fun again. I look forward to it if — no, when — I lose weight.
Thank you for sharing.
Kathy Bailey
Miss Mustard Seed, you are inspiring. Anyone who loves and wears pin stripes and polka dots is truly a lady. Loved your post today.
Take care.
Emily
I totally love painting furniture so i can sing along with my favorite musicals! it just makes me happy! Beautifully said! I’m so glad I’m not alone! Thank you for sharing fresh insight from your journey. Congratulations on getting healthier and rock on! Mindy
love this article! I sing all the time, an yes, even the songs from Annie I know. I would love to know which color paint you used on the green chair by your desk. It is the perfect green. Boxwood, Luckett Green? It is lovely. thanks
I echo all the sentiments above and want to know the MMS color of your painted green chair just like MARY!
You are growing into yourself~ congrats!
By the way~ I refer to you as “Little Miss Mustard Seed!!!”
I love your sharing, C
I bet you will look just beautiful in your new clothes! I am sure of that!!
Wow! You are the only person I know that is familiar with that musical! Love the soundtrack and the book. My daughter saw it in London with Michael Ball. So glad you are making positive changes. Good luck!
Your story touched my heart because I too, sometimes hide in the cocoon
of my home. Making one’s nest beautiful can sometimes overshadow all
of us DIYers. We must remember however, that we’re just as special and
sometimes need a re-purposing, too!
I love your blog! You’re very inspiring!
Sandra
Good for you Marian! I’m so happy for you!
Congratulations on your new healthy lifestyle. It’s nice to read that you ventured out and celebrated your hard work and weight loss.
It is so true that we can snuggle in our home and block the world out. Those walls have never judged me – they always wrap around me.
Have fun with the new wardrobe.
Marian: I am an avid reader of your blog and enjoy all you do and your posts. Haven’t commented before but today’s’ post really hit home! First of all, today we find you have even more talent than we ever knew…musical theater! Wow! And you were so cute at 9 and still look the same! Wow! And the shopping for clothes thing! I would much rather shop for my house, too, but at 81 years young I worry about looking “dated” so I do get out a few times a year to try to find something current…but no skirts 5 inches above the knee! And I don’t try on in stores…rather bring it all home and return what doesn’t work or go with at least 2 other things I already have.
Your blog is great you know and you are so inspiring to all.
Enjoy your life!
{{HUGS}}
Joy.
oh my gosh. There was a time when I couldn’t walk pass a clothing store.. even on my lunch hour when I was working I’d go home with a new piece of clothing. Well, many years and many pounds later, I have to be hog tied to even think about going into a clothing store. A friend of mine literally pulled me into a store for new bras. When my nephew got married last year I was terrified at finding something presentable to wear. So, Marian, I totally know about what you talk,
and like you, I’d rather browse antique stores than look in a mirror. You are quite an inspiration. Maybe someday I’ll loose a few inches and won’t be so ‘scared’ to try on a dress 🙂
Thanks for sharing in such a beautiful way! I think there’s things we all hide in because they’re safe, known or comfortable. I know God has been challenging me to push past those areas and explore new things – interests, skills, friendships. I noticed that your clothes have a blue theme like your house isn’t blue wonderful?! Love the polka dot blouse too! Enjoy the clothes and all the fun times you’ll be having in them!
Congratulations on your weight loss. I have lost 20 pounds since April 1. I know, it’s slow. But that’s OK with me. My goal is to look and feel better by the time I turn 60 which is a year from this Sept. 22. I’d like to lose 40 more pounds by then to hit my “wedding weight”. Clothes shopping is painful for me at this weight. I just choose not to do it right now. I also starting walking a couple of miles 4-5 times a week.
My parents were both very musical. I have great memories of singing at the piano with them. I love the picture you posted of your Annie performance. So sweet. Thanks for sharing. It gave me comfort and peace.
Great topic!!! It’s so easy to hide away doing fun “homey” things in jeans and an old t-shirt. Sometimes you have to force yourself out into the real grown-up world.
Congratulations on the 20 lbs….I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering where you were in all that….I started following your blog right about that time. So….way to go!!
Clothes shopping is much more fun when you like what you see in the mirror!!! Keep healthy and keep movin’ on
Know EXACTLY what you mean! I am doing this right now. And I pray I will be in your shoes someday in the not too distant future peeking out of my house shadow. There is life beyond house, riiiiiight? 😉
This time you´ve made so many women feel better after Reading your post! Those comforting Words, coming directly from your heart are so comforting for all the thousands and thoousands of women…all ages!…who struggle with their bad selfconscience.
For you it is about loosing Wight(don´t we all Think apout it?!) but there are also all those who for many other reasons prefer staying “in the shadow of their house” instead of going oout to meet the world.
With your “confession I Think you have encoraged many to leave their safe place and see what´s going on elsewhere. Thank You!!!
Thank you for this post, it really spoke to my heart today!! Thank you for allowing God to use you!! Congratulations on all your success professionally and personally!
Your are in no way alone in feeling that way! I know exactly what you mean by trying on clothes puts you in a funk.
Good for you for losing the weight! Keep it up!!
Your clothes are even lovely shades of blue! Love it! Congrats on your weight loss journey!
Good for you girl, good for you!
My husband and I are starting DDP Yoga (hopefully tonight!) so I hope in a month or 2 I can have the same “problem”!! Love the fabric choices of the clothes you picked!! Now you need to show us you model shots! 😉
I’m only 24 and I feel this way about clothes shopping! I used to LOVE it. I would go to the mall EVERY WEEKEND with my friends just to try stuff on and occasionally buy something with my own money – ha! But now I almost despise going clothes shopping. I would much rather shop for my house or something! I haven’t been in a mall in I don’t know how long. I don’t even like going to the mall anymore. Maybe if the mall was filled with different Targets, TJ Maxxs, Marshall’s, etc. =]
Haha. Found myself in the same position…sort of…I haven’t lost the weight (need to) but my entire wardrobe has paint on it. And I needed something nice to wear to Haven! but the pressure is off after reading your last blog about the Advanced workshop…sounds like it’s a “Come as you are” party. Ironic that I bought a few new things for Haven but will be bringing my normal wear now! LOL!
the shadow is not living…it is hiding. You HAVE been living in your home, and proudly also. But you’ve also been hiding behind its glory. Time for Marian, the person to SHINE….for herself and not in the shadow of Miss Mustard Seed. Great leaps, Lovely… Great Leaps!
Marian,
I can understand being comfortable in the shadow of your home, Sometimes I think we step back from our talents and think we are being modest. Maybe you are in a place in your life that fits and you understand how much you can be proud of and that includes a healthy you.
Maybe it is time to step back out on lifes stage and let the world see the talented you, and maybe your old wardrobe was a reason to be backstage.
rick
ps my wife and I are slowwwwwly making changes to our eating habits to get healthier.
It is the best gift you can give you and your family.
Omg….I always seem to be touched by your comments and can relate to your life in some way. I have twin boys (14 years) who both perform and enjoy theater very much. One of them likes to steal the show, while the other is content helping back stage and letting his brother shine. I was recently telling my boys that they remind me of the song “Wind Beneath My Wings.” Your post definitely hit home on this one. BTW….I would love to have seen you perform.
I am the same way, I was out shopping with a good friend of mine because I too have lost some weight and all I could say was,” I would rather be buying paint.” Her son understood but no one else did. Just can’t justify spending that money on myself. I to am in the shadow of my house. Maybe I will get the confidence to step out one day too! Thanks for the post you said what I have not been able to put into words!
I so enjoy you! I do think my house has bad hair days and when I get home from work, I generally just see all the stuff I “need” to do. But I do like it most days. Proud of you & your 20 # loss. I lost 30 over the past year and need more none baggy clothes too. Yeah us! Your shopping venture looks very successful. Good for you!!
Marian,
How could you not feel glorious coming home to your home???!! It’s lovely!! It does not matter the size of a woman – we are all uncomfortable in our own skin because of a message presented to us. I am 39 years old, 5’4″ and only weigh 113 pounds, on average…..that chocolate cake does sway it a bit when I eat it while the kiddos are asleep. Most days, though, I can’t stand the way I look because I am too busy thinking about the idea of what “sexy” and “attractive” are. I don’t fit a mold.
I LOVE putting outfits together, though, love contrasting patterns and you made some LOVELY LOVELY choices!! KUDDOS!!!!!
PS The flea market was a snap and I am currently sharing some of the milk paint you sent me with someone else who has never used it before. THANKS!!!!
Marian! Finally, this might be a chance for me to give back to you after all of the inspiration you have provided! I’ve just started offering people beyond my close group of friends and family my personal styling services. (Actually, inspired by you to just take that first step and start up a business) I’d love to talk with you for 1/2 hour over Skype or even set up a Pinterest board for you. For now, I’m not charging anything because I’m just getting my feet wet! Email me if you are at all interested. It would be fun-I promise!!!
Dear Marian,
Thank-you for your transparency and honesty. We all need to build our confidence once in a while. BUT, since I have been following you (sounds like stalking! Ha, ha) I see your home is a reflection of you, and your *signature* is written all over it. You are not in the shadow of your house, rather the creator of your home. I see the beauty in it, and in YOU!
Blessing,
Kari-Anne
AWESOME!
Love this post, Marian. I am ever encouraged by your authenticity.
Love the beautiful tour through your house – love the reflection – and – love that you have lost 20 lbs – You are showing us all that you can do it – thanks for the inspiration 🙂
Love this post and thank you for sharing your beautiful home and your personal goals! I’m truly inspired by both….
Whoa! This struck uncomfortably close to home! As I read this, I was pretty sure you could have been talking about me, except I haven’t lost 20 pounds. (Yeah for you!) Thinking I might need to give myself the same amount of love and attention that I give my house…
Marian,
Thank you for your honesty. I am so proud of you!!! I usually come home empty-handed or everything is black… I can so relate. You inspire me. No pressures!!! I promise you it helps me to remember to see myself the way the Lord sees me and to be my own best friend.
Love,
Melodye
Great post Marian…I get what you are saying totally. I feel similarly. I love doing things for my house and shopping to make it look prettier…and I have forgotten about me. I was so concerned with masking and fixing flaws that I forgot about my own!
So, I have started to really do more for myself…going to the gym, eating more salads and fruits, vegetables. But I still find it hard to take the pounds off. I think you mentioned awhile back soe program yiu were following…let me know about it. I could use it!
I did recently lose 5 pounds and that’s a big thing for me…so I am on my way. I have never been heavy in my life, only the past two years (menopause really stinks!!). But to celebrate the loss…I got my hair cut and i went blonder…so I feel much prettier!! Little steps help…
Thanks Marian!!
Linda
This was a beautiful piece, miss mustard seed:) Its hard to express how much I can relate to it. So nice to experience the realization that the ways that bind us together in the world come from the courage of sharing our vulnerbilities and finding strength in numbers. Please keep doing what you’re doing, because the world needs you to:) have a great day!
P.S. – i am ever so impatiently awaiting my shipment of your milk paint…several colors and waxes, and bonding agent. This is the first school year in 16 years that all four of my children will be in school all day…i have big plans in store, and now i have the tools to implement them.