Let’s talk about the stuff threshold. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t like to refer to spaces as sparse or cluttered because I have seen rooms on both ends of the “stuff threshold” done very well. Some rooms are perfectly edited, displaying just a few key things in harmony with one another. Sparse seems too cold a word for those elegant rooms. Other spaces are packed to the hilt, but everything is arranged and displayed so beautifully that applying a word with somewhat negative connotations, like cluttered, seems incorrect. I think it comes down to the fact that everyone has a different stuff threshold.
My own stuff threshold fluctuates and has since I was young. I remember rearranging my room and wanting to put all of the decor and accessories away so I had clear surfaces and the room felt lighter. One day, seemingly out of the blue, my mood would shift, and I would pull everything out again and arrange it all in plain view. This stuff threshold fluctuation has continued into adulthood and throughout all three of our homes I’ve shared here on the blog. Sometimes I put more stuff out, and sometimes I pull it back. While I sometimes feel at odds with myself, I’ve permitted myself to go with the ebb and flow.
Now that we’ve lived in this house for two years, we’re more settled and some spaces are getting closer to being finished (for now, because rooms are never really done), I am realizing that my stuff threshold is maxed out and, in some places, exceeded. Even though I sold a large amount of ironstone, accessories, and decor, I still have too much for this home, which is over 1,000 square feet smaller than our last house. Over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself looking at some of the open shelving as well as some of the decor sitting in reserves in the basement, and it all feels like way too much, not only for this house but for this season of life.
When I wrote The Stuff Series on this blog several years ago, I shared my view of stuff. It should be an asset. The stuff you own should feel good, and it should all serve you. If things feel stressful, like an obligation, like you’re crowded, like it’s too much to take care of, or like it’s so much that you can’t even interact with it all meaningfully, then it’s no longer serving you, and you should consider letting it go. I’ve been having these conversations about our stuff with myself lately.
I really like all of my things. I like collecting and displaying things. I like my books and stashes of creative supplies. But I am at a new season in my life. As my focus has shifted more to fine art, I’m finding I don’t need as many props for photoshoots. I don’t need a rotating stash of interesting things to style. I’m also realizing that if I’m not dipping into one of my stashes with some amount of frequency, then it isn’t a useful stash of items I need on hand. It’s a hoard; nuts I’ve squirreled away for later and completely forgotten about or neglected.
When I was selling in retail spaces, online, and at antique markets, I had an outlet, so I could flush out things I was ready to let go of. Now that I’m a few years removed from that, I can’t just slap a tag on something and bring it to Lucketts. For that reason, it’s felt easier to hang onto things since our move. Selling things can be a pain when it’s not a normal part of your business! Some stuff I can just donate, but some things can and should be sold. I’m currently weighing my options between selling locally, trickling things out as I have time, putting together one large tag sale, or selling things online. I’ve already started sorting through things and making a pile, and I’m sure I’ll decide once I get a better look at what I’m dealing with.
I’ll share the process as I try to work through the house, a small space at a time. If you are local and interested in purchasing certain things in a lot, let me know! I’m going through my fabric, linens, ribbons, yarn, antique textiles, books, pillows, art, antique flatware, ephemera, blue and white transferware, art, and crafting supplies, and every nook and cranny. I plan on hitting my ironstone collection pretty hard to thin it down as well. It’s going to feel hard at times, but I also know it will feel really good.
Can anyone else relate to the push and pull of the stuff threshold?
37 Responses
I don’t live too far away and would love to know what you are selling. (I love your style!)
Also, will there be any furniture? I am looking for an antique table.
It seems whenever you visit a shop and report it on the blog, you’ve purchased multiple things. My entire house is tiny. I love going shopping and looking at lovely things but mostly none of it makes it home. Maybe because of the fact that I’m often working with people who are getting ready to sell their homes, I mostly see the stress side of what seems like a normal amount of stuff suddenly feeling overwhelming when you take it all out to move it. I can read your blog or look in a shop or even see things on the beach, admire them, and have no need or desire to take anything home. Even so, if I had to move tomorrow I would be overwhelmed. I still feel the need to pare down.
Being the executor of my sister’s estate recently I developed a whole new appreciation for “Stuff”. Very few things were of interest to my family and it was difficult finding how to settle her house contents. Incould notnfind anyjne to do and estate sale ans auction companies would auction the house contents only if the real estate was included. What were an abundance of nice things ended up being stuff of little value when I tried to dispose of them. As it ended I sold her whole home of furnishings for $1600. Yes that’s right. So the moral of the story is this….
*Noone wants your stuff whether you believe it or not.
*only keep that which you intend to enjoy and do not expect that it has great value in the because most things don’t unless you are lucky to value something precious…Van Gogh art!
*Remember someone is going to have to dispose of your precious belongings so make it as easy as possible by not overcollecting. Essentials only is the best
*don’t save every paper or momento you ever collected. The effort for someone to decide what’s of importance and what’s not is hours of reading thru paper stacks.
*what you leave behind has alot of emotional charge to it from the people who love you. It is hard for them to go through the disposal process. Be kind and keep it simple.
This is very good advice, although can be hard to implement. We just cleared my mum’s hoard room, to give her a space that works for her. It took 2 days for even a tiny room and she worked hard to be practical and let go.
Me and myself had this conversation this morning. My desk, for one thing. Got a big chunk done, but I need a new, smaller desk, mine is completely falling apart….so I need to do that soon.
You have good treasures, so I will be looking forward to seeing what you can part with.
I love seeing you find them, and I love seeing your process to let them be loved by someone else.
I will eagerly follow your stuff tweak journey- thanks for bringing us along.
Same. I’ve been feeling this for a while as well. I don’t feel like I need as much. While I’m donating stuff to a church sale and different organizations, I’m also considering ebay. I don’t really have that much, but stuff does need to go for me to feel better about what I have and what has meaning. I would love some of your textiles for sewing, but I’m not in the area.
Oohh you do have the best stash of grainsack, linen sheets and such..I will make my way to PA if you decide to part with them.
I’m on year 3 of the decluttering process! And it is not for the faint of heart. It takes an enormous amount of time and effort to rid yourself of things if you are trying to either A) recoup some money for the items or B) find the items a good home.
I have “studied under” popular decluttering experts on YouTube, all of whom have superb thought-provoking questions to ask and advice for how to get through the entire process. I have sold things online, through local face-to-face meet up and sell services, in antique shops on commission, at garage sales, and to friends and family members. I have also donated items to thrift stores and watch them be able to get very high prices for the items that wouldn’t sell for even a dollar at my own garage sales.
There is a LOT to this process, but it is almost entirely enjoyable! I have learned so much about what I like, want to be around, want to take care of, have space for, want to collect, want to stop collecting and get rid of, need and want for my household, what I consider it worth the time to take care of.
I actually enjoy the whole world of STUFF and how that looks for all the different people of this world. Most of us reading this blog live in a culture that has plenty of beautiful objects and caregivers for them, busy trading off ownership such objects long after their original purchases. It can be a fun hobby. There is always something amazing to be found around the next corner.
As well, we all need to think about the objects we live with. We all live in a “container” and that container can only fit so much stuff. It is a boundary limit, as well it should be. If we are spending most of our time and effort just tending to the stuff we have, then maybe we have too much stuff. If we never use it or it never sees the light of day, living in a box in a closet, why keep it? Stuff needs its spotlight to shine if it is to be special and worth pursuing. And if your life revolves around dusting and cleaning all the time, maybe you need less to take care of.
Both minimalists and maximalists enjoy their stuff. What helps is to learn how to make it look fantastic and not just a stress-inducing pile of clutter.
We do go through phases and seasons of collecting and displaying, and it is perfectly okay to pass along those items you no longer get a thrill from. There are other people out there who are looking for those exact things that you want to part with. The key thing is to really examine yourself during the process, and figure out the whys of your relationship with the amazing objects you want to surround yourself with.
I understand what you’re feeling. I reached a point where I invited family and friends and said help yourself. Linens, glassware, silver, furniture. I just was in a new phase in my life and I found the joy of an empty drawer and a spot with no furniture made me feel more relaxed. I’m a mixed media card maker and did I ever have too many supplies. I kept the basics and donated the rest …….bags and bags…….to an art supply donation spot in Lancaster, Pa. I have a lot less but I have found I was being much more creative . It’s so freeing.
I am 82 years old and have a mega collection of blue and white transferware, floor to ceiling art, and wonderful personalized pieces of country french furniture slipcovered in white matelasse. I love the feeling in my little house. However, I recognize that this can be a terrific headache for my children when I pass, so I’ve made a book snd put photos of pieces my children and grandchildren like with their names on them so that there will be homes for the items and hopefully happy memories for children and great grandchildren.
I have collected various things ever since I was a child! I could never live in a home that looked like an elegant hotel room, without any personal items. I agree that it’s good to keep assessing one’s collections to see if some collections can be “retired” for others to discover and enjoy. As I’ve gotten older, I find that curating my collections to the best or more original pieces and letting 3/4 of each collection go has improved the look of my home. Nowadays I prefer that my special items have room to breathe and not overwhelm visually. I read once that “collections should not look like a shop display”—that really stuck with me!! After clearing out my parents’ home for resale after 50 years of collecting, I don’t want others to feel the burden when it’s my time. I thought it would be emotional to get rid of stuff, but for me, as long as I could keep the “special” ones, I found I didn’t miss the rest. To each her own for sure! It is a continuing journey for me.
If you part with any art pieces I would love to know.
I also have a soft spot for linens and fabric. You’re such an inspiration 💕
I am not local but if you decide to sell a ironstone cake plate, I will be happy to take if off your hands. I will pay the extra shipping costs.
I GET it !!! Part of me wishes I lived closer to you and another part of me is very happy that I don’t!!!I I just had my floors redone and whole house repainted. I had to put a whole house of stuff in a large sunroom….WOW!!! It was like Tetris. As I have been putting back I am questioning….keep/no keep.
I am making slow progress. Thank you for posting this…if Marion can do it..so can I!!!
That is funny. I was just thinking the same thing about part of you wishing you lived closer and part of you being very happy you don’t. She has some lovely stuff!
Oh!!! Marian….one more thing. If you decide to sell that little green scale, I think it is in the kitchen….give me a holler !!!! I LOVE that scale!!!
Also, sorry I spelled your name with an “o” instead of an “a” in the upper comment.
I am moving from a 1850’s farm house with 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms to a 1960’s bungalow with 2 baths. I have been cleaning and donating to local charities and I have a long way to go, thankfully I have the summer to do it. I have collected for 50 years but it is just time to let go as I am married to a wonderful man and we have no children I always refer to us as dead enders. I take it a day at a time and we will get there thank you Miriam for the wonderful blogs you share I have had many inspiring moments from you.
When my husband and I decided to downsize to a more manageable sized house I knew I would be purging a lot of stuff I had picked up along the way. I had a booth at a local antique mall so I was always on the hunt for interesting old things.
After selling out at the antique mall we had a local auction company come and haul a lot off for auction. It was an online auction and after it closed I could look and see the final bid on each item. I decided not to look. It would have broken my heart to see that my beloved Austrian fruit vases had sold for pennies on the dollar. I have discovered that it’s much easier to buy than to sell and more fun.
You are always so gracious! I always feel a pang when I scroll past a home photo shared by someone being vulnerable and people just comment “too cluttered.” It’s such an unhelpful comment, unless the person specifically asks.
I do appreciate the term stuff threshold. I appreciate that it does wax and wane. Mine waxed on overdrive after my husband nearly died and my mom’s house burned to the ground (with some of my childhood stuff) all in the same year.
I hit the threshold this year, and am trying to use my critical eye. I do still love my things, but my container is too small. Way too small. Decorating seasonally helps to keep the stuff out while not having all the stuff out. It also helps me appreciate things again each year. This year, if I struggle to find a home for something, then maybe I need to part with it.
I also observed that I bought things I saw in people’s spaces subconsciously thinking the “space” would also be mine. I know it makes no sense, but the subconscious is a Wild West.
I so relate to this post. I have a lot of “things” that I love and collect. But to make room for new collecting and my own changing tastes, I also have been thinning out. For example, I’m parting with my white ironstone collection and am hoping to collect a wall of blue transferware platters for over a fireplace in the house. I’m using FB marketplace to sell, since shipping can be a pain with breakables. So far, so good. It should also help me afford the transferware look I want!
I am at a certain season of life myself. Open shelves and side tables for display have been replaced with display behind locked antique hutchs due to small curious boys, and a theiving shredderator australian shepherd.(don’t get me wrong, i adore all of them)
What’s been lost I have found I don’t need.
My preference is stuff contained and displayed safely.
As the Bible says “to everything there is a season”
In our last two homes, we displayed a lot of stuff until we remodeled each one. After the remodels, have so much stuff displaed detracted from the work we had done. The last home we culled many of our possessions before we moved to a different state, having an estate sale service come in and sell it for us. We just finished remodeling our current home and don’t have plans to move for many years. We are in the throws right now of how to reduce the amount of stuff we have.
I am also the keeper of my family history and the last person still alive from my immediate family. Since none of my siblings nor I had children, it is hard to come to terms with what to do with those family things. Eventually I will have to deal with it though!
Perhaps you could share the special family mementos with long time family friends. So your family stories can be kept by their family.
I love decluttering! I’ve taken over a bedroom as my craft room and reorganize it often. I find it inspires me to create new paintings, making journals, gardening and slow stitching. I am in love with your linens! Your blogs inspire me as well. I’m not to far from lucketts and would be thrilled if you would keep me up to date on the sale.
Blessings
I too downsized last summer. At 67 managing it all and expecting my children to deal with it when the time comes seemed like a burden. we had an online auction company come to the house photo and list it. Bidding day was stressful watching online but most sold, pickup day came and they’re people managed all the pickups. It was the easiest way to go and keep your sanity. Our kids did not want any of the family hierlooms and collections so it was hard. Well worth the 30 percent it cost to not have to move it all.
One thing I would love to have is one of your beautiful ironstone pitchers. After selling and downsizing most of our treasures last year I am very selective about adding in new items they must be functional and pretty.
Oh yes, this is quite relatable. Yes, indeed. You will be happy you did this – and make a buck or three in the process. Good luck. It isn’t easy when we have such awesome possessions.
I have been looking for an ironstone pedestal cake plate ever since I saw your collection years ago. Still haven’t found one. I don’t know if you are willing to ship, but I would love to give one of yours a good home! I’m in Colorado. 😃
Definitely relating. The “urge to purge” is stronger than it has ever been before. I don’t know why, but it just feels like it all has to go. Knowing better than to ignore the inner prompting I have been mentally sorting and deciding as I wait for warm enough weather and summer break from school. I appreciate the term stuff threshold. Thank you for sharing.
I feel the same and at times it seems a little overwhelming to go through the process. But slowly I am clearing out and downsizing. You’re right in that at certain times in our life it just feels too heavy. Good post.
Oh how I can relate! Interestingly we are on the opposite end, rebuilding in a sense. Over the years we have pared our belongings down substantially due to all our military/government moves, some items given away, some destroyed in the moving process. Now we are quickly looking at the possibility of a retirement in the very near future due to the government restructuring… We downsized moving overseas. 1865 sq feet with a basement and two car garage to 1350 square feet with no storage. Ha ha! I just might have to attend your tag sale if you have one….
If only didn’t live in Australia, my daughter is studying fashion design and I would dearly love to purchase some antique fabric you mention. Lucky those who live close.
First dibs on your sweet little Priory sugar jar. I’ve loved that little guy since your PA home.
As I read on here, loads of us require downsizing after a move or big life change. I own a house filled with memories, kids’ stuff left here because of dorm/house/life moving, and me going from a huge farm to a townhouse. Slowly does it ;>D
I understand this… I live in a small house and sometimes I need to purge to remain sane, but also love collections and the thrill of the hunt! I live too far away to purchase in person, but I would love to see what you are selling and would love for ironstone to be sold online. Thanks for your wonderful blog! I have followed you since the beginning!
I can relate!