I received a critical comment on social media a couple of weeks ago. It happens when you share online, and after over 15 years of posting, I’ve gotten used to it and generally have a healthy perspective. Most of the time, I can shrug off the comment. It’s from a stranger on the Internet, and in many cases, it’s not even about me at all. My inbox, DMs, or comment section is just where someone’s frustration, hurt, or bad mood landed on that particular day. I usually don’t respond unless it’s necessary and seems like it would be productive.
I can’t recall the last time I responded to a private, critical message publicly, but this comment has stuck with me, and I felt it was important to write about it. The gist of the message was this: the commenter felt compelled to tell me I wasn’t a real artist. She made several incorrect assumptions about my process and, based on those assumptions, belittled me and my work.
I wish I could say it didn’t bother me at all, but even though what she said was untrue, it did linger in my thoughts for a few days. The personal sting isn’t what hung with me, though. What kept me thinking about this exchange was two things: 1. I felt sadness for this woman, who chose to spend her time tearing down another artist instead of asking questions or offering constructive advice or encouragement. Or just making her own art. 2. I felt a heaviness for all the artists, makers, and creatives, whether they make things for a living or a hobby, who received a similar comment at some point in their lives and let it deter them.
There are three things I want to say in response to this…
one
What you say to people about their art, whatever their art may be, can have a great deal of weight and influence in their life and work. Handle those words with care. Most people already do an excellent job of questioning their legitimacy as an artist, and they don’t need you to feed that fire. We need people who are willing to make things, nurture ideas, innovate, and share them with the world across all fields and walks of life. I wonder how many people have shuttered the doors on their art because someone told them that they weren’t a real artist.
You can dislike the art without personally attacking the artist.
two
Your process isn’t what makes you an artist. Making art makes you an artist. Your process is what makes your art yours. Anyone who says your process is somehow wrong is wrong. Simply put, unless you’re heading into illegal or unethical territory, there is no wrong way to art.
three
If you don’t like the work someone is doing, or the way they are doing it, make something yourself. Make something you think is better. Make something you like more. Make something using the process you feel is the best. Don’t worry about what other artists are or are not doing. Don’t be the art or process police. Just be an artist and make things. I assure you, this is much more fulfilling, enjoyable, productive, and fun.
If anyone has ever told you that you’re not an artist, I can say, without even knowing you, that they are wrong. We were created to create. Our art might not be viewed as a traditional art form, but we are all artists. Your art might show itself in the kitchen, the garden, with music, with numbers, with administration, with animals, with a camera, with fabric, with a needle and thread. Somewhere along the line, our culture stopped seeing all of that amazing creative work as art. It is.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
46 Responses
This makes me angry on your behalf! The internet has opened many doors, some good and some bad. This is perfect example of the bad. What in the world is the matter with people (a favorite quote from my 95 year old mom)? I love your art and am pretty taken with your dog portraits.
I’m so glad you did not buy into her negative comments. Every time I look at your paintings I fill with awe and envy at your talent. Just continue being the bright light that you are.
Well said. I appreciate all the ways to create used in your response. It’s a sweet reminder that we all are created to be beautifully different from each other but are each blessed to create and blessed to be able to appreciate creativity in others.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it is a place for someone to dump their unhappiness. I am impressed by you, not only for the very creative and inspiring work and art you make, but also for the fact that you make yourself vulnerable by sharing it. I think the green-eyed monster of jealousy was showing…
It’s very easy to be cruel and critical from behind a keyboard.
Amen to all you shared! You are so right. I love all that you create—you’re an artist extraordinaire!
Very well said, thank you. I get so much pleasure from just seeing your beautiful paintings and all the clever, lovely things you do in your home. And so much inspiration from what you share — both the creative work and the process of being creative.
Taylor Swift said it right…”Haters gonna hate, hate, hate,…shake it off, shake it off”. The only person you have to impress is yourself. Everyone else doesn’t really matter.
This post hit home. Someone belittled my art, which was a painting, on social media many years ago. The hurt has stuck with me for 10+ years. The person was a friend, a good friend I thought. I am sorry someone felt compelled to critique you in such a cruel manner. You responded with grace and kindness. You helped me too!! Thank you for sharing your art in all its forms.
Someone in one of my craft pages was personally attacked because of something incredible that she made was priced too high, and the person even said they could make that in 5 minutes or less. I couldn’t hold my tongue. I “nicely” explained that there was no way anyone could make something like that in 5 minutes and have it look that great. And I also explained the work that goes into creating something, the materials needed, the effort, the time, and the emotion that the item evokes. When you set a price, you are paying for ALL of that, not just for an item mass-produced on a shelf in a box store. The artist who had not commented to anyone, much less the one who posted the offensive comment, posted back to me a huge thank you. I told her that as an artist myself, I had to speak up and listed many of the similar reasons you posted in this article. Thank you for speaking up and speaking out about it. I feel we all have moments when we need to be educated.
You could not have handled that better–excellent response.
You are not only an artist. You are one of my favorites. Your talent knows no bounds.
How sad that someone can only feel better about themselves by tearing others down. I’ve followed you before you ever put brush to canvas. Having read about all the art books you have studied, all the processes you’ve tried, watched you grow as an artist, all I can say is that person has no idea what she’s talking about. Keep your chin up, keep moving forward and follow your heart.
Well said Marian!!! I love all your creations… you have inspired me in so many creative endeavors 😉
My goodness, what kind of bitterness possesses an individual to deliberately seek to diminish another. The world of art and the creative process is a very big tent, lots of room for everyone. Lots of ideas, lots of approaches, lots of techniques and definitely lots of personality.
Marian, you have chosen a very brave path, you’ve chosen to share that path openly with all of your followers. It does invite scrutiny but the courage it takes blows my mind.
I only speak for myself, but sharing my “art” with others is a frightful thing. You launched yourself out into cyber and entrepreneur world fearlessly. All the while, you taught, encouraged and mentored others.
Not sure where I’m going here but thank you for your resilient spirit and generousity.
It boggles my mind that someone would be so unkind, but especially in this case where your artwork is so amazing. My hope is that you continue to find time to share your work with us. Thank you for all you do!
Thank you for sharing this. Many years ago a comment from a professional artist who taught my children created enough doubt about my ability to shut down any further attempts by me to further develop my drawing/painting skills. I continued creating in the kitchen and flower beds, but not with pencil or paint. Until last month. After all of these years I made myself watch video after video then painted a tiny little card of wildflowers to put earrings in for my granddaughter’s birthday gift. Painting that tiny card was the most fun I have had in ages! I realized I need to create whether I do it “right” or not. It’s the doing more than the result that feeds my soul. Thank you for being an encourager.
I’m glad you have started painting again Rebecca. That is what bothers me the most about people making a negative or cruel comment. It can stop others from doing something they love, wearing something they love, sharing something they love, etc. It is just the other person’s opinion. It is not based in facts. It is just an opinion. Anyone can have one. When it is unkind, it doesn’t even come from a good, honest, unmarred place. It comes from self-doubt, jealousy, hate….it is dishonest. I hope you start doing you art regularly, I am sure it is amazing and it should be shared with everyone who will love and appreciate it.
I have a theory about when someone says something mean. It is a lie. Who would say something mean to someone else unless they are trying to hurt them and I don’t trust anyone who tries to hurt another person? I used to think if someone said something it must be true. I spent years believing things people said to me. One day, as I do, I started thinking about things about me that I have believed over the years. I was probably doing dishes or something else that gave me time to just think. As I thought back over these individual comments and how they had impacted what I did and what I felt about myself, I realized that what they had said had no basis and wouldn’t be said by someone who really cared about me. I would not say cruel things to people, whether I knew them or not, because it would never occur to me to do so. Also, what would be the benefit to the person saying the mean remarks other than to hurt you or to make you feel less than. I think it is an important thing to realize. I read something that asked if there is anything that I would like to tell my younger self and that was it. I deal with a lot of young people in my job and in my life, so I share this with them often. Cruel and negative people can cause a lot of harm to others, it is important from a very young age to realize that people like that are miserable and hurting, so they are trying to hurt you. They are not being honest, because honesty is kind and loving, not vicious and hurtful.
Marion, you are not only a hard working, brave, talented creator – you are also a wise, thoughtful and accomplished writer. Thank you for sharing all your talents with us. I often read the comments to your blog posts and I think you have many thoughtful and wise readers as well. Thank you for the community you have created.
You are right to feel sorry for that person. I hope they read your comments and ours. It is a hurting heart that would write such a thing. What did they hope to accomplish? How could those comments help? They need help with problems that surface and try to destroy others. I enjoy and like your paintings very much and if I didn’t I would not b cruel enough to try to make you suffer.
You are most definitely an artist and a very very talented one!
Sigh, it is a thing, the keyboard warriors. Kindergarten minds spewing their vitriol. I am so sorry you were the victim this time. I just read about a chatelaine being told her home is not a castle, not knowing the system works through royalty, not visual. How sick can one be to tell an artist she is not an artist? Jealousy. Big hug, Marian. To most of us, you are a very accomplished painter. We love to see your work.
Thank you from all the little girls who want to be an artist. The world needs to build up a new artist not tear them down!
By the way I have followed you for years and your growth in art amazes me!
Criticism reveals that it often reflects more about the critic that the criticized. It can create a toxic environment where individuals feel undervalued and demoralized, which is probably the intended outcome here. I think they may have some insecurities and low self-esteem that makes them lash out. I’ve followed you since your babes were in diapers. I’ve watched your growth as an artist, and I’m truly inspired. You’re a serious artist, you’re published, a gardener, landscaper, decorator, designer, traveler, and a special human. You inspire the creative spark in all of us. Sometimes I get dizzy just keeping up with all of your adventures. I’m envious of your boundless energy too. I look forward to all of your posts.
You are definitely an artist. And a darn good one at that. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. I’m in awe of what you do and always mesmerized by the process when you post yourself painting on Instagram. Keep doing what you do.
As a fellow believer and one who is appreciative of art, I have to commend you for the grace and wisdom you have shown. You haven’t been unkind. You have actually shared something with someone who doesn’t deserve to be given a response. At the same time you have educated all of your other followers on how to handle criticism-whether it’s an unkind post by a stranger or a critical comment from someone we trusted. Thank you for all of it! And if I didn’t love your creations-painting, home decor, gardening…all that you share…I we wouldn’t be reading your blog every day! Does it even matter what your process is? Just enjoy doing it your way and the finished work!
You have the most healthy attitude anyone could have about this.
Thank you for sharing. This just might help me one day.
Btw…you’re a fantastic artist. I’m always in awe of all the things you’ve taught yourself to do.
I’ve been a Mustard seed follower for years.
Yes to all your comments and thoughts. Yes, you are an artist. Much more than that sad apology for a human being.
Oh my word. I cannot even imagine. WOW. Good for you, Marian. For you are incredibly talented and I have said it on this blog for years now. You just keep amazing me project after project. I too feel sorry (and, quite frankly, disgusted) that someone would be that cruel. You handled it well. Keep making beautiful things. I know you will. ♥ God bless you and your family this Holy Week. Enjoy Easter celebration for it is cause to do so.
Here, here! Ditto to everything my fellow friends said.
It’s one of the first lessons we hear as children, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” However, it’s such a hard lesson for some of us to learn. I’m sorry that someone used their words to be cruel to you. Thank you for choosing to be kind in your response. And for reminding us all to choose our words a little more carefully!
Well said. Creativity is such an area of vulnerability for most, if not all of us – a return to the innocence of sharing our innermost self with an accompanying sense of joy and freedom. Most everyone can recall the first intrusion of someone else’s opinion (good or bad) that causes us to be aware that sharing the joy opens us up for judgement. Expressing criticism of someone else’s artwork is like telling someone their baby is ugly – it’s simply cruel and unnecessary. All it really tells you is something about the observer – and you are spot on when you said you felt sorry for the person spending time tearing down another artist vs creating something or offering positive feedback. I love your art and I applaud you for your gracious and wise response and willingness to share your own journey of vulnerability. BRAVO!
No, way! How could anybody say you are not a real artist!! Thanks for sharing b/c if they say crazy things like that to you, everybody is a target b/c you make amazing pieces!
You are an amazing artist! Don’t let an unkind person get in your head. Regrettably, some people feel free to be ugly with a keyboard where they don’t have to truly “own” their behavior.
I’m sorry someone felt the need to be hurtful like that. But boy am I impressed with how you have handled it and put it in perspective! Your talent is without question. So, I thank you for being brave enough to share your story, because you are so right, as artists we already have that niggly little inner critic whispering in our ear that we need to overcome without someone adding to the chorus. Your personal style is meant to be authentic, not shaped and dictated to by someone else’s opinion. Keep being your lovely talented self. Your instagram and blog are the most wonderful, inspiring and encouraging places to come and hang out xx
Well said, from one artist to another:)
“We were created to create!”…. amen! (by the most amazing Creator)~
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof”. Proverbs 18:21
Thanks for always inspiring.
Hello Marian, I rarely post on blogs or social media but this criticism of your work and talent really frosted me. If you are not a real artist then I am not a real person. I have enjoyed and admired your talent and artistic work since the beginning of your blog. Please know there are many who love your work and will continue to support you. All the best, Paula
Thank you for continuing to share your art in many forms. You have been engaging and inspiring for many years!
Thank you, Marian.
Years ago, I had a woman tell me that I was bad at photography. Something I had a lot of fun with. I haven’t picked up a camera since. Maybe one day I will. It only takes one negative person to shake you up, no matter how many people encourage you.
Thank you Marian! I was learning from a well known published artist in a mentorship and online classes when he privately criticized the way I had done something and proceeded to publicly lecture against it in many classes I attended. I felt very personally attacked (multiple times), whether he meant that or not – I eventually stopped taking his classes. I still feel torn about it – because I learned a lot from him; but had to come to terms that his very traditional atelier approach was not my approach. I have since moved on from the situation but it took awhile. Kudos to you!
What you said: Bravo!
I, for one, am so glad you continue creating your art. I have two of your landscapes and a pet portrait already with another pet portrait in your cue. You are a true artist and just a good person-and we need more good peoploe in this world. I really don’t know what possesses people to attack others the way they do online, but I am so glad you are not letting it deter you. Thank you for your art.
I’m 73, and remember one of my college art professors at the time saying, “not all the best art is hanging in museums”. There is a lot of beauty around us. 😊
It is crazy to imagine all the miserable people in the world that spend their time making hateful, mean spirited comments that are completely unnecessary. Just scroll on to something else. As for your talent, you are a great artist – I love your paintings. Ordered three custom paintings from you that I can’t wait for them to arrive. All your art sells very quickly and is in high demand. You handled this really well.
It is so hard not to take to heart comments like that. Good response. It took me years to get to believing I was an artist.