I’ve had several people ask where I came from (in a figurative sense)…including my parents! A few months ago, one of my readers suggested that I share how to raise a creative child. Well, my boys are still toddlers, so we’ll see how well I raise creative kids, but I can tell you how my parents did from a kid’s perspective.
Exhibit A:
Yep, that’s me…at nine years old playing little orphan Annie. I had never done anything beyond church and school plays and ballet classes, but I was determined to get the part and I did. Aside from being a little bratty and tired during the whole thing, it was a blast.
The first thing my parents did was allow me to fly as high as my wings would carry me. When I wanted to enter the school talent show as a kindergartner, one of the youngest participants, my dad accompanied me. When I wanted to audition for plays, my mom helped me prepare my piece and then helped me memorize my lines when I got the part. When I wanted to work in entertainment at a theme park while in high school, they agreed to let me drive an hour each way, not getting home until after 1:00 am most nights. And when I wanted to go to a performing arts college to learn to become a professional Broadway actress, they paid for my first apartment/shoe box and gave me my space to give it a try.
They also encouraged me to try lots of things. I took tap, jazz, ballet, baton twirling, gymnastics and was a cheerleader. I played baseball (seriously), basketball, soccer, tennis, piano, hand bells, flute, recorder, and guitar. I rode horses every summer, skied black diamond slopes, white water rafted, climbed mountains, toured castles and went all-night shark fishing. I took workshops in painting, tin punching, cross stitching and sculpting.
Now, I wasn’t good at all of it. The only thing I remember about basketball was making sure my shoes matched my uniform, but I did give it a try.
All of this taught me that I can do almost anything. My parents always encouraged me to try and it was okay if I failed.
They never pressured me to be good in something. I don’t remember ever being yelled at about a “C” or being forced into taking an honors class. I did get some heat when I decided in 3rd grade that I wasn’t going to do my homework anymore, which was a little dense on my part because my 3rd grade teacher lived in our stairwell.
We also had a very musical home. My mom was a music teacher. Everyone in my family (except me) played the French horn and all of us play guitar. We would sing quartets and were expected to perform almost everywhere we went. Instead of watching TV, we would sit around and sing together.
Being a military brat, I moved often. I learned to adapt and make new friends. I also watched my mom turn Army housing into a cozy home. She starched fabric onto the walls and used contact paper to cover OD green counters. I learned a lot about making do.
I’m not sure which of these factors really did it, but I know that my brother and I are both the creative sort. He is a musician, singer, improv piano player and owns a recording studio.
To boil it down, these are the things I’m going to try with my kids…
Encourage them in what they want to do
Allow them to try and fail in new things
Don’t pressure them into a hobby or sport they don’t like
Don’t label them
Be a good example
Sing with them
So, all of you moms out there with creative kids…do you have anything to add?
PS – I’m going to give the blog “floor” to my parents at some point to let them share their side of the story!
37 Responses
You look like a perfect Annie 🙂 My 6 kids are all creative in their own way. I homeschooled them much of the time, but I have to say the biggest influence on them was not having a tv in the home. My son is a recording artist and my daughter is a graphic designer. My next daughter dances. The youngest three haven't found niches yet, but each spend hours creating art, lego stuff (great!) and drawings. I think creativity is stifled by too much electronic media….
I used to write music and do some recording, but those days are long gone 🙂
I wholeheartedly second the "no tv." Also, reading. LOTS of reading. When they're little, read to them as much as you can. Not only will this help them learn to read on their own, but it's fodder for the imagination and promotes a love of books that they will hopefully carry with them into adulthood. We were (and are) reading nuts with our kids and they are two of the most creative children I know … not that I'm biased. 🙂 I also homeschool, which allows them plenty of time to read, draw, build, etc.
And all the stuff you said. 🙂
So funny that I stumbled on this blog tonight! If you head over to my blog you'll see that just today my 20 month old and I made a hand print painting together because I am VERY passionate about inspiring creativity in children. My husband is a musician and I sew, paint, scrapbook (everything) so it's super important to me that he has every creative outlet possible. Your parents sound great- we need more like them. And you!
my parents were a lot like yours and i was able to try anything i wanted, and i was into drama, dance, girl scouts, softball, mock law, and more… i tried it all, too! my kids are still youg, almost 4, and 5. i sign them up for everything and let them try it all but if they don't like it, no pressure. i also do lots of craft projects with them and i don't tell them the rules… it's supposed to be their creativity coming out, and not mine. i let them put colors and paint where they want. i help them with techniques, but i don't want them to have any boundaries in their creativity! great post, marian. it's important that we all allow our kids to grow and learn, experience life, and figure out what they love to do all by themselves. we just give them the wings, and they take flight. and i hope my kids fly higher than i ever have in my life.
Reading, it encourages the use of the imagination, seeing things in your mind's eye.
Your parents had it right in letting you try everything without pressuring you to be good at any one thing. I've allowed my girls to dip a toe into various things, and only of late have they expressed what they want me to enroll them in. It was a long process and I thought they'd never be interested in anything, but finally, we may have a winner for each one. Your parents sound very wise, Marion.
I agree with everything you said here! I'm happy to say both of my boys are usually right along side of me in our craft room. The 5 year old is really creative already and I adore it! The 3 year old still doesn't quite understand much about crafting but he can already draw Spongebob!
Our message to our kids is TRY. And if you start something you must finish it. We tell them to never give up (when they say "I can't do it") and that they can do ANYTHING! And my mother always told me I'd be the first woman president. LOL!
Jeanine
You were an adorable Annie! No wonder you have so much moxie and determination now. I thought often of the verse, "Train up a child in the way she/he should go…" when we were rearing our four children. We looked to the strengths of each and encouraged them in these traits. Each child is different, and it is so important to foster individual gifts. Also, it takes a lot of patience to ignore creative messes and to allow children to do it themselves!
What a thoughtful and encouraging post. Thank you. I needed that today.
Becca
What a great post! Do you still sing and act? That is a talent you should never give up!
"…my 3rd grade teacher lived in our stairwell."
Say what???
Set a good example for your children by trying new, creative activities. Encourage them to join you, if they show interest. I remember painting ceramics with my grandmother and a roomful of little old ladies when I was 11. Give children plenty of opportunities to try new things, art classes, music lessons, sports, etc. I included sports reluctantly because I think that children are very pressured to excel in sports. Do creative things as a family. We hosted a Christmas cookie decorating party last night and everyone had a blast. I feel blessed with creativity and a family who encouraged me growing up.
ENCOURAGE them! And don't worry about messes. You can't be creative if the house has to always be spotless or quiet or perfect. Or if they are continually entertained by others – let them entertain themselves at home and by themselves every now and then, not on a never-ending excursion of restaurants and shopping and playdates. Make sense?
-Trish (mom of three fairly creative kids)
Though my son is only about to be four, I think reading a lot, minimizing TV viewing and spending plenty of time outside are crucial to growing a child's creativity. For instance, my boy loves superheroes (we watch old 80s and 90s cartoon clips on Youtube) and Star Wars, and so whenever we go outside, he's always playing with "light sabers" (aka sticks) or pretending to be Wolverine, Spider Man, Batman, etc. I play along with him and totally indulge this imaginary play. Crafting is another area that he's finally expressed interest in (yay!) and so I've built up a stash of art supplies to have at the ready. When it comes down to it, I think simply being supportive is the best way to foster a child's individuality and ultimately, his or her creativity.
A truly wonderfully, inspiring post. I only have one child who is nearly 21 now but I have always made sure that he knows 'everything is possible'. He is extremely creative, plays just about every stringed instrument there is, writes all his own music, performs at any given opportunity, reads at least one book a week and studies when he doesn't even have too! I guess I am blessed to have such a fantastic child who really appreciates every day and every opportunity. Encouragement is everything.
MUSIC.
Music is the foundation of creativity, in my mind. It doesn't matter what kind you enjoy or what you play, sing, or encourage… it's a great place to start creativity!
I agree with you about encouraging our kids to try whatever interests them. My parents couldn't afford a lot but I don't remember a time when there wasn't money for art supplies. I have always done something creative. I remember at 4 I made placemats by weaving yarn through strips of shiney stuff with holes in it (no idea what it was and haven't seen it since) I learned to sew at 6. Since then I have worked with every medium possible….stained glass, wood, metal, paper…. I followed my parents lead and there have always been art supplies in my home for my children to play/work with. My daughters are both going to college for 3D animation. They both draw and write. My son has a great eye for photography. He is always grabbing my camera and taking wonderful shots. At the age of 5 he drew a picture that I took to my college art proffessor and had her grade it without telling her who drew it. She gave him a B which she kicked up to an a plus when I told her it was drawn by a 5 year old. I would encourage everyone to give their kids the gift of creativity and imagination. It has not only been good therapy in hard times, but has also been a financial hand in many situations. It has given me and my children self confidence as well as a soft landing place when we have failed at other things that we have tried.
You were a beautiful child! It sounds like you had wonderful parents.My children are now 19 AND 23 AND I always tried to encourage them in whatever they expressed an interest in. I also tried to instill a good work ethic and love for education, especially literature and history.I home schooled them through high school and middle school so that we could have the flexibility of a more creative way of learning. They are both gifted and creative women. I think the bottom line is you have to respect your child for who they are, and foster the growth of that person.
Wow, it's been a while since I heard someone say "stairwell". Yep, I totally get that. I lived in Bldg 360, C6 (Neu Ulm) when I was a kid. Stairwell C. Then we moved to Brass Alley 🙂 My mom is like yours, and I swear all 5 of of kids still have OD green blood !
Thanks for the warm post.
What an impressive list of accomplishments! And I consider them just that even if you've just tried them. That list is huge!
I continue to figure out what my son's passions are. It's tricky. And I so agree, getting off the electronics is so important. We have alot of improving to do.
Donna
http://funkyjunkinteriors.blogspot.com/
This was beautiful! Without doubt a recipe for success! thanks for sharing
One of the beautiful lessons you learned is that failure is okay! That is terrific!! We all need to stretch our wings and sometimes flight doesn't happen…but the whole point is to TRY!!!
You had a full and rich childhood and it shows. For now you "fly" regularly and you have the confidence to keep it going!
Hugs
SueAnn
Wow your parents are awesome, What a great lesson to be learned on parenting…you are a lucky girl and so will your kids their futures are endless!
I've been thinking about this very thing lately because I see creativity in my grandchildren. And I've been thinking about how to maintain their enthusiasm for creativity. For me, my grandmother was very creative – and she let me get in the middle of anything she was doing – even though I could not do it as well or as fast as she could have. Second, my mother acted as though everything I created was amazing. She still does.
Creating things has entertained me all of my life. It is the spark in my life when I'm sad or anxious. I'm never bored. I feel as though it has been a gift from my grandmother.
Hi Marian, From a different perspective, my husband and I are both left-brained, but we have two (out of five) wonderfully artistic children–it must be a recessive gene. I've discovered a couple of things: 1) Even us analytical folks can be creative and 2) a little "boredom" in the life a child goes a long way into "forcing" them to be creative. P.S. You were a cutie-patootie 😉
Marion, Your family sounds a lot like mine growing. We were also encouraged (but not pressured) to give lots of things a try. My parents are both good singers, but never did anything with it except sing at church (in the congregation) but all of my siblings and I (5 of us) all played instruments, acted, sang, etc. I was in Annie too! But I played Lily St. Regis (named after the hotel.) 🙂
I remember singing in the patio until I lost my voice and trying different sports. My parents did expect me to get As but honestly I was harder on myself than they were. We have two toddlers but already our daughter seems as if she will follow in her Daddy's footsteps and my musically inclined. I look forward to seeing what they become and in the meantime I let them experiment and we sing everyday!
Sounds like you have wonderful parents. I have two creative kids and to all that you've mentioned I would add giving them time to discover who they are and what they enjoy doing. If we load their schedules with "must dos" and "should dos", they won't have time to develop their creative abilities.
I love this post! I don't have kids yet, but I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment of how to {hopefully} raise creative kids. Sounds a lot like my upbringing and I loved it! My parents encouraged me to be everything I could be but I never felt pressured by anyone but myself.
um, okay, first. . . your third grade teacher lived in your stairwell? lol! did you sneak her food? 🙂
loved the post. reminded me of the story of the woman who came up with spanx. she and her sibs explored and participated in lot's and "failures" were celebrated because so much is learned from them, if you take the time to look.
I love how your parenst gave you room and independance to let you stretch your wings. that is something I plan on doing for my kids because it wasn't done for me. How else do you learn and figure out who you are? 🙂
I love this post! I had divorced parents, so both parents had different ideas on how to raise us. My mother was a beauty queen, played the piano, decorated, taught me how to sew, was incredibly eccentric (her favorite bird is a Flamingo as she said its a Crane in drag.) My father was the strict, do it my way or no way, nothing was ever good enough in his eyes. When I lived with my dad, I felt I had turned into someone I didn't really know. So I moved in with my mom and that's when I started playing the violin, I was in several plays, choirs, clubs, very active in community service and I felt like I was who I was supposed to be. Living in a dysfunctional family forced me to carve my own way, but I am still very close with my hairbrained mother. We used to stop on the side of the road, get out and dance to "We Built This City on Rock and Roll". Ok, not super safe, but it's one of my favorite memories. I hope that I can be the mother that allows my children to carve out their own way and be right behind them supporting whatever they choose. Thank you for this post. Makes me smile.
Oh I wish there was video of you as Annie! you are ADORABLE!!!! Obviously you know that raising a creative child is very important to us, otherwise our house wouldn't be filled to the brim with drums, guitars, horns and more art supplies than a wee one will ever need! I love what you wrote about your parents, I'd love to read what they have to say about it!
Great post! It's a good reminder for me in this world of video games and the convenience of kids watching videos to pass the time. I love being creative and so do my kids. I need to take more time with them to play games, paint, draw, pretend play… we had a rough day today but I know this time will pass so quickly, with them being young, so I need to do my best! Thank you!
Great post and very well said! I would add that parents should not compare their children with one another or any other child. Accept them as the individuals that they are. There was little to no TV watching or playing of video games in our household as my boys grew up. I raised my children to be creative and use their minds. Also, always be encouraging no matter how trivial or silly you think one of their interests may be. Give them encouragement when they fail. Always show your love and never hold it back as punishment.
I keep a package of paper out all the time with crayons, scissors, etc. age=appropriately available. Kids shouldn't have to "ask" to create their art. They should just be able to go for it. Same with the couch cushions, the blankets that turn into forts, etc. Oh, and my kids don't know that the tv has anything on it except the movies I occasionally turn on. So they don't ask! And the stack of library books and box of blocks calls to them more loudly because of it. Kids love to recreate their world or any story they love. Mine acted out the three little pigs about 50 times this month so far! Who knew there was that much to the story! They love to join me in making a mess 🙂