Let’s rewind a few weeks… I planted a boxwood hedge in the front garden too close to the house and porch, and after a bunch of advice from seasoned gardeners, I moved everything. Feeling like I was sure to make more rookie mistakes, I froze. I had containers of English lavender in a plastic holder, as well as more pots of unplanted boxwood, sitting around the front garden for a couple of weeks. I would put on my overalls, head out to do some planting, and I would just stare at the plants, hoping I would intuitively know what to do, and I wouldn’t get it wrong again. Would I plant things too close together? In the wrong kind of light or soil conditions? Would I have to pull everything up and start over? I ended up walking away from the front bed, and I worked on weeding, or cleaning the patio, or putting petunias in pots; simple things I didn’t have to fret over.
More recently, I felt the same way about painting the wallpaper in the basement. I thought about it for a long time, years actually, before I finally rolled the primer on.
While I am a doer, someone who will jump in and give something a try, I can get bogged down in research, reading, and getting stuck out of fear of doing something wrong. I’m sure I’m not the only one, which is why I’m writing a blog post about it.
Sometimes you (and I) just need to do the thing. Put the plant in the ground, put the primer on the wall, start the project, finish the project, and check it off the list. It might be wrong, it might be imperfect, mistakes are sure to be made, but one never knows until one tries.
I planted the boxwoods around the birdbath and around the bottom of a garden obelisk. I’m sure they are too close together, but they are doing well and are safely in the ground during the summer heat. I planted the English lavender, and 6 out of 18 of the plants haven’t fared well. At least five are properly dead and crispy. I primed and painted the wallpaper, and it completely transformed the basement for the better. I felt silly for not doing this simple, relatively cheap project sooner.
When it comes to uncharted territory, whether it’s a home and gardening project, learning an instrument, or working in a new art medium, sometimes you have to force yourself to take that first scary step and learn from the results. Every next step can be viewed as an experiment, an adventure, which feels a little less intimidating. I will learn whether English lavender works in my front garden or not. I’ll either be pleasantly surprised or I’ll try the next plant and see if it thrives.
Of course, it’s wise to mitigate the potential damage and financial loss in an experiment. Taking a few small steps in the wrong direction is a lot easier to recover from than getting on a plan that is going in the wrong direction. Make the steps small, manageable, low risk, and a little less scary, and then do the thing.
I am often asked how I accomplish as much as I do. There are several answers to that question, including the fact that I work on my home, art, and writing as a profession, so it gets a lot of my time and attention. But, I think one of the answers is also that I am willing to take the small steps to get started on a project or to keep moving forward. Sometimes I get in my own way, like leaving plants in plastic pots for a few weeks while I just started at them and then ignored them. More often, though, I take the steps and do the thing that’s in front of me.
You’ll never get things done if you don’t start. I hope this is an encouragement to you and a call to do the thing, whatever that thing may be…
20 Responses
Hey, if we can’t make mistakes now and then, how are we to ever grow and learn? I know I have made plenty of gardening mistakes and the one it seems all of us make even seasoned gardeners is planting things too close together or in the wrong location. I am just impressed how much you have accomplished in your yard.
I do have one question about the location of your charming bird house attached to the house. Do you have issues with birds making messes on your siding and staining it in the process? I love the house, but I always questioned whether putting it directly on the house would result in a constant cleaning battle.
Oh this is so me!!! I get charged for one project, gather all the stuff, watch others do it, but never get started on mine or finish what I started. Analysis paralysis! Then I move on to something else and haven’t much to show for all of my creativity. Analysis paralysis is too real. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
My grandmother had a little saying, which my mother often repeated to me when I procrastinated:
Whene’er a task is set before you,
Don’t idly sit and view it,
Nor be content to wish it done;
Sit down at once and do it!
Hello Marian,
Boxwoods are easy to plant and maintain and easy to move should you need to replace or relocate. They have shallow roots and are very forgiving. As far as spacing and how quickly you want the low hedge to fill in you can go anywhere from 10″ to 24″ on center.
Basic lavender is probably the easiest to grow. (lavandula augustofolia) sunny and dry. Another plant you would like is Germander. It pairs beautifully with boxwood. Fertilize your boxwood with a fertilizer for acid loving plants twice before June and you are good to go.
Use a plant start product for your new nursery stock. Some products say to do a second application to give new plants a boost. Happy planting. Hope this helps you.
Kate
Boxwoods will do okay in less than full sun which is defined as 6+ hours of sun.. At least 2 – 3 hours of sun is a good measure. I have Green Velvet planted where there is ambient light and maybe receives 2 hours of late afternoon sunlight and they are fine. I would be concerned if it was shade to deep shade.
Kate
I have been growing lavender for years. I put it in the ground or a large pot and forget about it. They need A LOT sun, at least 8 hours a day and it looks like the front of your home is somewhat shady. Also, lavender does not like mulch, so if you have mulch close to the plant, you should push it away.
Thanks for the tips! The front garden is south-facing, so it gets a ton of intense sun from about 9:30 – 4:30 or so, so I imagine it’s getting enough sun. I think I may have overmulched around them. I’ll scoot the mulch back and give them some more room!
Actually what lavender really likes is to be mulched with ROCKS, not wood. Lavender loves growing in small gravel in particular. The rocks provide extra heat that lavender loves.
I made 2 lap quilts from a pattern for my first two grand children who graduated from high school. The third I bought fabric, then couldn’t figure how to cut the pieces up to fit the pattern. I used the fabric pieces “whole.” When I tried to make up other groups of fabric, then I have been stumped. I have been ready to just throw the whole thing away. Thank you for the advice. I just need to continue to work on it.
Thank you so much for this post, Marian! When I feel overwhelmed or unsure is when I freeze up. And then I procrastinate. This is so helpful!
Marian, if you don’t already, watch Garden Answer on YouTube. I’ve learned so much from watching Laura and her husband Aaron.
Honestly… I feel that those lavender plants should have tried a little harder while you took time to think about things. … teehee! Anyhow, you are gardening and doing it well. Thanks for sharing this with us. It seems like everything you do is golden. It’s good to know that you are a wee bit human as well.
Practice makes progress, practice doesn’t make perfect. I get it big time. I think your feelings on that speaks volumes to many of us. I concur!!!! Sorry about the dead ones. It happens. Don’t beat yourself up and just dwell on the things that you’ve made thrive. Those are worth celebrating.
Gardening is like painting…..the petals and leaves are the colors and paints. Long time gardener here and I still like to move things around. That’s the meditative beauty of gardening and painting. I know a lot of gardeners from club and we ALL move, rearrange and kill some plants!!! Are you aware that most nursery’s will refund or give a credit on plants that didn’t make it? Home Depot and Lowes give a one year guarantee with a complete refund. Save receipts and the bucket with bar code on it….easy.
I get where you are coming from on the procrastination……I HAD, as in formerly, a broken toilet. ALL the guts needed to be replaced. I just shut it down last November!!! We had other toilets. I had bought the old red flapper only to discover this one was a green “clam shell”. Threw me for loop. I just let it sit there. Shut the door and said maybe later. NO stores (5) sold that type in my area. Went to Amazon, they sent the wrong size….twice…I ordered right. Thought, “this bad boy is going to sit a bit longer!!!” Holidays came and went…it sat. Got all 3 insides changed ONLY to realize the main rubber seal now needed to changed…due to drying out from not being used!!! Yep…where the tank meets the bowl. Thought I was defeated after coming so far!!! IDEA!!!…try YouTube!!! Yep it was there. Called manufacture …the only place to get rubber seal. As of 2 days we are now back in business with a place to do our business!!!! It really wasn’t that hard…it just seemed like it was easier to let it slide. And of course the fear of not really knowing what I was doing!
I always plant my perennials closer than recommended. I like a “fuller” look. And I am impatient and don’t want to wait several seasons for it. You go girl! I believe that finished and good enough trumps perfect. There is always beauty.
Marian, When gardening, there are no mistakes, per say, just learning experiences. Its easy to move a boxwood they are hardy. If you don’t like something, simply move it the next season with the right timing. It’s hot July and I have 4 pots waiting to be planted on my porch (and I planted 6 last week), a gardener is not a true gardener without a few plants laying around waiting for a home. BTW, it was a pleasure to meet you at Lucketts this Spring (Atlanta, GA). Have fun digging….
If I didn’t know better, this post was written exactly for me. Lately I have been “paralyzed” – poor choice of words – but sufficient, to get going on projects…….fear of mistakes, not sure of what I am doing or exactly where I want to go. I get it.
However, I have just started reading Mel Robbins and her “5, 4, 3, 2, 1 – lift off” analogy has helped just to get going.
Thanks for your transparency & inspiration.
First step – read the plant tags. They will often give you the information to get you started. Those first steps are so easy but can take a lot of time. Once I read the plant tag or do an internet search, I sometimes have to revise my garden plans. As long as we water, especially in the first two weeks, the plants can be very forgiving. And if they are forgiving, we can forgive ourselves, too, when they sit too long before we get to work and get it done. You have been an inspiration to many for a long time!
I am in SE Michigan and have killed two crops of lavender by overwatering. Yep, thought I was being a good plant mom and killed them. My friend, who lives a few miles away, planted hers and forgot about them. Hers are thriving. …ignore them.
I never had luck with lavender until I visited a local lavender farm and they sold the varieties that grew well in my area. Gardens are ever-changing and you will learn what works through trial and error. Try to drown out the advice of others and do what speaks to you. You’ll figure it out ❤️