My mom and I started talking about the IOP shell collection contest of 2022 before we even found our first shell this year. Once the competition was mentioned, though, my mom became unreasonably competitive. “I found the first olive shell!! I think that should earn me bonus points! I found the first lady’s ear so I get another bonus point!”
“Mom, people vote on their favorite shell collection. Bonus points are worthless.”
She has made it clear that she doesn’t need bonus points anyway because she’s going to wipe the floor with me. While she’s being a little intense about the contest, she did earn bragging rights by beating me with over 85% of the votes. She’s been insufferable ever since, so thanks for that.
The 2022 shell collection contest was spur of the moment, but this year the contest was going to be a bit more organized. We collected shells with the competition in mind and started discussing potential format and rule updates. No matter how the contest was changed, I knew before I even picked up the first coral-covered oyster shell that I would lose, but I was going to give it a good effort. I might even change my tactic from last year since that was clearly a failure.
As I cleaned my shells and set them out on the deck to dry, I thought about which ones I wanted to submit for the contest. My brother came out as I was bagging some clean shells to take home. “So, which ones are you going to submit?” I told him that I didn’t feel like I could submit my true favorites. If we were having people vote blindly, it would be very obvious which collection was mine and I would lose. Also, my favorite shells are holey, crusty, covered in coral, and worn compared to mom’s pretty and colorful shells. It was a lose-lose if I went with my favorites.
“So, you’re going to sell out and pander to the crowd?”
“Yes. Yes, I will.”
Then, as I shared my wabi-sabi shells on Instagram and here on the blog, my brother accused me of cheating and priming the voters to favor my collection so I could win. My mom has also eyed me suspiciously when I wash out my shells and added a few I know she likes to her collection. “What are you doing near my shells? Are you messing with my shells?” I did snatch an olive shell right out from under my mom without apology, but I pointed out that I didn’t tackle her or knock her down.
The IOP shell collection contest of 2024 is going to get me removed from the will.
In the end, I decided to be true to myself and what I loved and put together a grouping of my favorite shells. I would snatch shells from my 75-year-old mom and run to beat her to something that looked exciting, but I was not going to sell out or pander. I have standards. I picked my favorites and set them out in rows to take some pictures and videos of them to share when we were ready to post the shell collection contest.
Here is a look at my favorites, which include blue whelks, coral, olive shells, a large horse conch, a fossil, and oyster shell “sculptures.”
I actually found two lion’s paw shell fossils this year, which was exciting! I found one two years ago that was pretty impressive, but I thought it was a fluke.
I love the shells that look like they were lived in by other creatures once the original owner gave them up. It’s nature’s repurposing.
I also love the shells that look like they’ve been rolling around in the surf for a long time. I think of them as “antique shells.”
Here is a better photo of one of the lion’s paw fossils. You can see it on the right and an oyster shell stuck to it on the top left.
So, I took all of the photos and videos of my collection, set out in neat rows as we did for the last contest and my mom was secretly arranging her shells with the help of my great-aunt, who has won awards for her flower arrangements. Not only was there unsanctioned consulting, but there was borrowing of shells and stooping to new competitive lows. Even though I found at least half of the sand dollars, my mom wouldn’t let me have any for my collection for the contest. Sabotage.
Well, if I didn’t know a week ago that my mom would win the contest, I knew when I saw her arrangement despite the fact she’s a shameless cheat.
I have to admit. She did blow the socks off of the shell collection competition and my Instagram followers agreed. She took it to the next level and now I know how formidable my opponent is for next year.
I mean, the little shells on the piece of driftwood?!? She might as well have spelled “I’ll give you a cookie if you vote for me” with her olive shells.
In what is becoming the shell collection competition tradition, I lost without a shred of a doubt. When I was sitting at 14% of the vote it looked like I might make a last-minute surge, but that never materialized. I’m not sure about the digital logistics, but I think some bots might’ve been stuffing the ballot box.
As you can see, my mom won handily and now she’ll be impossible to live with until we face off again. She even started telling strangers on the beach about her victory in the contest. Someone actually called to me over the sound of the waves, “I’m sorry you lost!”
In case you didn’t get that this was all in fun, it was all in fun. We love collecting shells and having the contest gave us all some laughs and good-natured ribbing in the beach house throughout the week. We both collected shells we loved and thoroughly enjoyed the process. Even though I’m the big loser in the IOP 2024 Shell Collection Contest, we’re both big winners.
The shells are gorgeous! I am reminded of the goodness of God by seeing these small pieces of his creation.
Well, no wonder I didn’t find any great shells at IOP’s last week……your mom got there before me! We walked the beach, and I found a few here and there that were mostly broken but no real keepers. Maybe I was at the wrong end of the beach too. I do have a bowl of sand-dollars from our visit to Hilton Head several years ago and some really beautiful shells from our visit to Sanibel Island, Fl (shell capital) about ten years ago.
I forgot to congratulate your mom on her impressive win!!
oh my gosh…I laughed so hard through ALL of this!! Of course I knew it was all in fun, but thanks for showing us how truly funny you can be!! What a fun post – I loved it, plus I loved all the pictures of shells!
I’ve been following you for years and this was my favorite post ever. Looking forward to the next rematch, whatever contest you make up.
You have to admit that you mom’s arrangement was stunning! Congratulations Kim.
Thank you Jan
How fun to have a competition. And I Love how you find the beauty in the “Antique” shells. We live up near Albany, NY, so far from the ocean. Whenever we visit Florida, we spend our days beach walking and shelling. I display my shells in apothecary jars. Lots of times I’ll put all of the same variety. Other ways that I display them, is in little brass and glass boxes. I’ve even ordered custom hexagon, and octagon shaped boxes to display large starfish.
I’m 75 and my daughter is in her 40s. We “compete” in the NYT word games daily. It’s a lovely way to share. I love your “shell game”. Thanks for sharing.
I wish I could find even a fraction of all the cool shells you both collected. Love this post. Totally get the competition aspect. The bragging rights alone are worth it.
PS Sorry, I voted for your mom. She did such a cool job of arranging them. When is she going to send me my cookie?
Not many out there with your wabi-sabi eye for the holey, crusty shells. lol. You and you mother have these sweet memories and sounds like you had a lot of fun.
I love your shell collection, with an artists eye, I, 100% understand why you chose them. The textures are fabulous. Yet, I understand why the majority chose your moms collection. Yours will be so much better as a painting or resting on your shelves.
Beautiful collections! I think I asked this before but what are the rules for taking shells off of the beach and keeping them? Are they so plentiful that the public and owners of lodgings on the beach don’t care?
Oh family competition-love it!! My Dad and I competed on the best salmon recipe. Love the tradition and I wish Dad would take on my husband. I hope your mom keeps going on, using any techniques available just to keep the connection going on 😘
Great fun had by all! I had no idea that many beautiful shells wash ashore every day.
My son and I have done apple pie contests. So fun! Great and very funny post 🙂
What great fun! All the shells have a beauty all their own. You both collected some stunners. Sweet memories made!
I cannot stop laughing. Oh my gosh you two are hilarious!!!!!
You definitely won with this blog post. I laughed out loud throughout. You are another Erma Bombeck! I love seeing all the shells and miss going to a beach to pick my own. I do have some pretty nice scenery with the Rocky Mountains, but how I love the beach!
I couldn’t stop chuckling at your post…and I’ll admit that I voted for your mother’s shells….sorry! What total fun!!!!
Some of my happiest memories are shelling with my mom… I can see her bending over and walking the beach in Naples. She had so many shells. I gave them back to the sea after her death. Enjoy every minute with your mom. I certainly did reading your posts this week.
Marian, tell me you make yourself while you’re writing !!!!! this was HILARIOUS!!! Hey keep this in mind>> maybe if you make smiley faces with your shells you’ll do better !!!! ( tip for next year 😉 haha <3 🙂 🙂 🙂 p.s. hi to 'MOM' the winner 🙂
oops. correction…….Marian, tell me you make yourself LAUGH while you’re writing !!!!!
this was HILARIOUS!!! Hey keep this in mind>> maybe if you make smiley faces with your shells you’ll do better !!!! ( tip for next year 😉 haha <3 🙂 🙂 🙂 p.s. hi to 'MOM' the winner 🙂
p.s.
I choose your shells. They are more interesting!
This is so funny and I imagine lots of fun. My favorite line in your post… “She’s been insufferable ever since.” Til next year Marian.
Lol, sounded fun! My daughter and I do this all the time!
Those pretty “shells” that you wanted to know what they are? Brain coral.