Today I was working on a chapter in my book about contentment and it was a bit of a wake up call for me. I always felt like writing a book, a for-real published and sold in bookstores book, wasn’t really an attainable goal, but here I am doing it. It’s something God brought to me as a tremendous blessing and a way for me to share His love with others through my love of all things home. It’s an honor and a dream come true. As I’ve been working intensely on the writing, though, I’ve had to neglect my blog. As I’ve watched my numbers slip and my ranking fall, I found myself a little down about it. I’m now realizing that those numbers have been way too important to me. My worth isn’t found in my blog ranking or the number of hits I get. Worrying about those things is only going to rob me of the joy and gratitude I feel about this opportunity. It’s also incredibly ungrateful. It’s like I’m saying, “Thanks, God, for the book deal, but I want a pony too and then I’ll be happy.” Ugh. Do you ever just disgust yourself?
As I was writing, I was focused on being an encouragement to those who eventually read the book, but this evening God used it to speak to me. “Be content with where I have you.” It makes me so sad that I have to be reminded of that in this wonderful season of my life. It points out the wickedness and sinful nature of my own heart.
…but His mercies are new every morning and I’m so thankful for that. I’m thankful for the truths God showed me about myself today. It’s hard for me to share, but I wanted to be transparent and honest. (My heart always pounds when I write posts like this…)
Do you struggle with contentment or am I all by my lonesome, here?
OK, so here’s what the hydrangeas are about…
I bought them to use in some photo shoots for my book and I snapped a couple of pictures of them yesterday. I’m glad I did, because today they were totally wilted. Big bummer. So, they won’t make it in the book, but I do get to share them here today.
Mini is so sweet to me that in addition to caring for my boys today, she steam cleaned my family room carpet. I’ve been putting it off because I’m really looking forward to installing hardwood floors, but it was starting to look like a leopard print and it was time to deal with it. Plus the hardwood floors are probably still a few months out. Thank you, Mini. I don’t know how I could manage without you!
(I put a water mark on this picture because I know everyone is going to want to pin it.)
I think I’m going to put a big thank you giveaway together… You’ve all been so encouraging to me during this whirlwind and I appreciate it more than you know!